{"id":48,"date":"2015-08-26T16:33:18","date_gmt":"2015-08-26T14:33:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/daddyblogger.co.za\/?p=48"},"modified":"2015-08-26T16:33:18","modified_gmt":"2015-08-26T14:33:18","slug":"the-difference-between-men-and-women","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/daddyblogger.co.za\/index.php\/2015\/08\/26\/the-difference-between-men-and-women\/","title":{"rendered":"The Difference Between Men And Women"},"content":{"rendered":"

Found on the internet many years ago!<\/h2>\n
\n

\"Couple02\"<\/a> Let\u2019s say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.<\/p>\n

And then, one evening when they\u2019re driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: \u201cDo you realize that, as of\u00a0tonight, we\u2019ve been seeing each other for exactly six months?\u201d<\/p>\n

And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he\u2019s been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I\u2019m trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn\u2019t want, or isn\u2019t sure of.<\/p>\n

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.<\/p>\n

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I\u2019m not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I\u2019d have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward . . . I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?<\/p>\n

And Roger is thinking: . . . so that means it was . . . let\u2019s see . . February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer\u2019s, which means . . . lemme check the odometer . . . Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.<\/p>\n

\"Couple01\"<\/a>And Elaine is thinking: He\u2019s upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I\u2019m reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed \u2014 even before I sensed it \u2014 that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that\u2019s it. That\u2019s why he\u2019s so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He\u2019s afraid of being rejected.<\/p>\n

And Roger is thinking: And I\u2019m gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don\u2019t care what those morons say, it\u2019s still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It\u2019s 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.<\/p>\n

And Elaine is thinking: He\u2019s angry. And I don\u2019t blame him. I\u2019d be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can\u2019t help the way I feel. I\u2019m just not sure.<\/p>\n

And Roger is thinking: They\u2019ll probably say it\u2019s only a 90- day warranty. That\u2019s exactly what they\u2019re gonna say, the scum balls.<\/p>\n

And Elaine is thinking: maybe I\u2019m just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I\u2019m sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.<\/p>\n

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I\u2019ll give them a warranty. I\u2019ll take their warranty and stick it right up their \u2026\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cRoger,\u201d Elaine says aloud.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d says Roger, startled.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease don\u2019t torture yourself like this,\u201d she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. \u201cMaybe I should never have . . Oh, I feel so\u2026\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

(She breaks down, sobbing.)<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d says Roger.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m such a fool,\u201d Elaine sobs. \u201cI mean, I know there\u2019s no knight. I really know that. It\u2019s silly. There\u2019s no knight, and there\u2019s no horse.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s no horse?\u201d says Roger.\"Couple04\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cYou think I\u2019m a fool, don\u2019t you?\u201d Elaine says.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s just that . . . It\u2019s that I . . . I need some time,\u201d Elaine says.<\/p>\n

(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Roger, do you really feel that way?\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat way?\u201d says Roger.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat way about time,\u201d says Elaine.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh,\u201d says Roger. \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Roger,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you,\u201d says Roger.<\/p>\n

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it\u2019s better if he doesn\u2019t think about it.\"Couple03\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine\u2019s, will pause just before serving, frown, and say:<\/p>\n

\u201cNorm, did Elaine ever own a horse?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Found on the internet many years ago! Let\u2019s say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":243,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,10],"tags":[5,4,11,13,12],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/daddyblogger.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/daddyblogger.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/daddyblogger.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/daddyblogger.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/daddyblogger.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=48"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/daddyblogger.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":49,"href":"http:\/\/daddyblogger.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48\/revisions\/49"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/daddyblogger.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/243"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/daddyblogger.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=48"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/daddyblogger.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=48"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/daddyblogger.co.za\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=48"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}